hey baby, i think i wanna marry you <3

Do you know me?
Because you know, we gotta be strong
~20 july babe, and im proud of my mum fer bringing me up,alone:") ~attached & belongs to the best xx ~i have suffer too many setback. bring it on. i will stay strong P3221562-horz eee d f e w

Thank you
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Designer: x
Basecodes : x
Resources: x x x x x x

{school cum mediacorp cum him/}
Friday12:20 PM
: heloooo. recap. 28 july was my last day fr both my module. yay yay yay. wake up at 6 with a total of 18 missed calls frm him. he called me from 530>< how can i not even hear eh? lol. but luckily he did wake me up, if not knfrm plus chop, never go school. wah sian. okok met him at wdlands int. took a straight bus to tamp. and wat happen eh in the bus? ah he talk a lot. like really. i guess he is always active ah. pagi petang siang mlm,bbl je.heheh,sungguh. he sent me to school. and i was like 30 minit early on tht day. like seriusly. he went straight to work aftr tht. ngantok-ngantok pun maseh nak anta. haix. boo. and the mmnt i reach school, my clique was excited in my stry telling session. like wtf. ok i did shared everything wif them. and.....thy all say i bustard ah. wah sian la. hais haish. and off , we went to URA. i dun knw wats tht . dont bothr asking me. wat i knw is , there is this famous architect inside. bleah. spent an hr there. and spent anodr hour gossiping. went back to school at 11. had our lunch. and by 1230.....we dun knw wat to do. :(((( camwhore till 2. and nobody entertain me aftr tht. i talk alone. :(((( thy all sleep. sian. k wtf. had our presentation. and everything ended at 5. yay yay yay. had a lil gossip session with rachel till 6. and off to toa payoh. waited fr zu and acap till 7. waited fr the othrs till 730. arrived there, ngam2. and.....the show started. ok, they were funny. but, i kinda predicted nabil tagline.. boo. but aniways, stress realive. laughed a lot as usual. and.....wen ended already, we saw QI YUWU! omggggggg. he sooo fcking handsome, we swear. he looked at us with the wtf face. but wat do we care. he sooo handsome.wanted to take pic, but then, guard halau kita. babibu la. :((((( headed to mcd and have our late dinner. went home with them and off to meet him. met him at wdlands. and he soo cute. he kept thinking tht im mad at him. wen im not at all. lolzx. spent time with him till 1220. have to admit, he was exceptionally sweet on tht day. really.and have to admit, i have like him more & more. shit la. boo. i felt guilty wen he hug me. my closest fren shud knw why. and most importantly, i knw why. i wonder wat will he do wen he knw the truth abt me. i wonder if he will left me. i wonder if he would bothr to fight justice fr me. wonder if he will evr believe it isnt my fault. ah fml. hate it wen my past haunt me. boooooo
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{positive positive, ah sucks. :(/}
12:01 PM
And so, ya, I wanna continue with the post. But then again, im nt gonna elaborate, wat if, suddenly,the unexpected person read my blog?! O.O wat I wanna say is tht they have break up. And obviously, I think and believe and im confident its partly my fault. To be honest, this have happened twice to me. Why?:( I wish I knw why. Like seriously I wanna knw why it have happened to me twice  thou hE kept on saying tht it isn’t my fault, still, the guilty feeling is there. Why? Maybe because, she and I are womens. We knw how each othr would feel. But then again., I cant blame myself. Its not tht ive wantd to come in between or wat , kan? Argh, wtv la. Lets just go wif the flow. Yay. Eh eh , sekali she knew I contacted wif him, how? Wah sian, world war tu :( wah.sian. ah Negativity out, positivity in!!!!! :/
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{love sucks . guys suck. bt i still gt trap in between/}
Wednesday6:23 AM
its have been a long time since i post something about....my relationship with a certain guy. wells, i havent been contacting any guys since march. like contact as in close contact, msg-ing every hr and stuff. because of tht one guy, ive kinda gave up to have a bf and stuff. yes, i still chat wif othr guy till now. but tht is all nothing. and so, now im involve in this *love-feeling* again. worst still, he have gt a girlfren wen he was contacting me. wells, i have post abt him before. we strted txting each othr on sat. till now. i met him on monday aftr i ended school. to be honest, t think i shouldnt be meeting him. but still i did meet him. as a fren , right? there shudnt be any problems. and so, we took the bus and headed to wdlnds. during the bus journey, we talk alot. and thts wat make me comfortable. nothing happened in the bus. and i didnt feel anything too. so i thought, ya, maybe we can just remain frens. and he sent me home aftr reaching wdlands. initially, ive wanted to go home and tht is around 830. but, instead, we spent our time talking near the park at my home. he talk abt his gf, and how he is irritated by her, and how their relationshp is going. and soooo,i listen to his stry. and comment here and there. believe it or not, i spent time wif him till 1130. o.O and he sent me till my blck. and..he did hold my hand. which i thought its okay. i dun find it a problem wen a fren hold anoder fren's hand. so...ya, i knw imma bustard up till here. and the next day was his bdae. i did wish him thru msg. i knw tht he wanted me to wish him thru phone. but, then agian, i feel that is his gf job. not mine. im just a fren. his gf shud have the priority instead. i knw i did the right thing. so i though maybe we wouldnt be meeting each othr again. like in a few days la. but unfortunately no. he met me the next day, which is his bdae. his initial plan was to sent me to school ONLY. of course i would agree. just sent to school only whut. and we arrive a bit early. so i decided to treat him as its his bdae. headed to macd. and...thts where i think the feeling arouse. i think. believe it or not, i skip school. my class strted at 3. and i didnt go. instead im wif him. wells, its not because of him la. its because im alr lazy actually. and with him psycho-ing me, im became more lazy. and so, we spent three freaking hrs in macd. and thts where he strtd to touch my hand. but wait, touch only. still i already feel guilty at tht momnt. guilty..because his gf have been serching fr him since morning. guilty...because he is someone's guy. guilty.. because he spent his bdae wif me n nt his gf. i knw imma bustard. :(((( and we headed to roof top at tamp one. and im not gonna elaborate more. oh wait, dont think too far. i knw my limit and obviously he knw his too. actually, we went there just to spent time and talk la. there, his gf kol and txted him non-stop. and there, my hart and mind keep scolding me. *MYRA, SUNGGUH KAU BUSTARD. PMPN DIA TGH CARIK DIA. RISAU TNTG DIA. NAK CELEBRATE DENGN DIA. TAPI KAU LAGI BOLE SPENT TIME DENGN DIA. KAU NI ORG JENIS APE SIA?* :(((( to be honest , yes, i kinda hate myself fr tht. why???:((( pfft. i suck. and then we headed to yishun. ive gt tuisyn to teach. we arrive there at 630. kelas strt at 730. we hve gt one hr. so ya , we talk and talk. but....believe it or not, i didnt went to tuisyn in the end. why? idk. maybe lazy. idk. and so ... he sent me home. and arrive bb at 9. befre boarding the bus, yes he did hug me, and if im not wrong , he did kiss me. and off he go. yes, i was kinda happy. you knw why? he spent 10 freaking hours on his bdae wif me. thou i dint do anything much. he appreciated me. i can see tht. and, ya, the feeling of like arouse. and.....the feeling of guilty keep increaing. okay, there is some more i wanna post. will continue in the next post. o.O my post seem kinda long.

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{bdae cum chalet cum reunion/}
Tuesday10:56 PM
hi. :) i had my mini celebration on the 24th. wells, it didnt go according to plan uh. supposedly i arrive there at 11. bt...we arive there at one instead. bleah. and soo, 30 minis a fter i arrive. wani, ayul , subree have arrived. thy so fast. and i dun even knw tht they will come. sayangs drg. hek. so met them at macd. and waited fr zu and napi over there. had a grt talk regarding our course and stuff while waiting fr both of them. and so, we headed to the bbq pit. then, few min later, farain dtg. hehek sayang dia jgk around 330, dearest marsilians arrived. sayangs drg. and the last time i met illyana and shilah was like 4 years ago. while the others, was like since primary 6 huh. wah. and, frm wat i can see, shilah and illyana havent changed at all. still my gorgeous awesome bestfren. hehehk. and shilah have really made my day. she laughed freaking a lot. like zu. thy both shud be able to click well. but.....tsk, nehmind. abd izwan came at the last min. after he arrived, i cut the cake. as those marsilians need to go to anothr chalet. and soo, vutte dmy cake. and of course, kene sabo with it. by kak jannah, azrul and yg pasti, mus & shilah. ahhaha. primary memories so best. i had a badae part wen i was in pri 3 & 5 too. and thy were there as wells. hek. and after cake cutting, thy went home. left wif my sec mates. i kinda feel tht i neglected them. but...ive warn them tht. wells, fuchun stud jugk yg tak dtg :((( so thy went home around 6plus. before leaving, wani and napi did gave me presents. aftr they left, i opened it. wani got fr me a kad and a ring. unfortunately, i cant fit in the ring:((( too lose. :( and napi present make me suprise. he bought fr me a necklace. a very beautiful necklace. i showed my whole family wat he gt fr me. and thy said tht the necklace is rather expensive. o.O hek, sayangs dia la. farain stayed wif me till nearly 7. hehehk. ni lagi bagus. aftr she left, i emo a while. no kawans. ceh, padahal , aku makan je all the way. around 8, kak danda family came. ah kecohs lagi. mane taknya, baby irfan ade whut. and two of my werky frens came. just fr a while thou. tapi sayangs drg. hehehek. at least make my day. so we all stayed there till 10. and wen i chck my fone fr msges and fb, hahaa, its all : sry i couldnt come. bleah. i was expecting warda grp to come. as its kinda long since i met them. but, she wake up late. hek sedih. and iqah couldnt come due to sickness, and i miss her verry much. :( haix. bt its okayzx. i still appreciate those who came. and oh, i love those presents which ive received rachel,nad,doreen and huili gt fr me a cotton on gift card which consist of 30 dole. woop wopp. shopping uh nanti. hek. mus and shilah gt fr me a hp strap which gt my name : myra. hehek. wani,ayul,subree gave me a kad and ring. napi gt me a beautiful necklace. suke yay. farain gave me money. which i dun like. so i gave her back. bt she still gt put inside my pocket. haix. sayangs dia la. kak danda gt fr me a helen necklace and earing. lawar . hehehk. cik sal gave me money as well, which i accept as she is my aunt. my broder gt me a necklace jugak. hehehek. hari2 boleh tukar necklace aku. lol. kak jannah gt fr me a smiggle pencil case, which i have been eyeing since last month. woop woop. nice yo. and gave me onebox of marker pen frm smiggle as well. mentang2 budak design. hadiah pun ade link uh. ahahhaa. heheh love all of them. but i love my mum and broder and zazrul teh most. w/o them, there wouldnt even be a celebration fr me. thy have fork out lots of mny just to make me happy. and i love them fr watever thy have done. sungguh. i think, im gonna pay them 50 back wen i gt my pay. thts the least i can do. i love them, very.


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Sunday10:17 PM
i suddenly feel like....imma bustard. :(((( like really. here it goes. im contacting wif this one guy. which have gt a gf alr. but he told me, contact as fren only uh. like of course. i would just txt him like how i contact othr frens la. hmm. butt. idk i feel tht something gonna happen. k actually im not gona talk abt this uh. sekali unexpectd person read how? ah omg omg, i have gt to gt rid of my sweet talking attitude. idk.my sweet talking is worsen. :((( ah not my fault. if guys can sweet talk wif me, then why cant i? im just learning frm there. bleah. phuck me la. huhk. nanti kalau drg gadoh ke break ke, mesti partly sbb aku.kan? enta macam mane la salah aku, tapi yg pasti salah aku. :(( boo.
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Saturday5:13 AM
hi,badae is over. like officially over. tht means im officially and legally 18. ^^ ok let me wrap up wat happen on the 20th ye. it suck a bit because..........i spent half of the day at school drawing. bleah. but you knw wat. im kinda proud of myself. my lecturer said tht my drawing have improve, and more nicer and up to scale. hekhek. happy yes pls. wells i have like actually pass drawing. why shouldnt i be proud kan? :) ohkay. wtv. so from 9-12, is a consultation period. within tht timing, i dun even knw wat to do. lucky i bring my lappy. notification full of bdae wishes . and thts wat make my day. yes really. and...i cahtted wif this one guy. and i dun even knw he is from fuchun. lolzx. lucky he kept me entertain till like 11 plus. then back to gossips with my clique. received a cotton on gift voucher from my dearest awesome clique. i dun even knw cotton on have a voucher card thingy. lolzx. supposedly met aishah and farain aftr skool. but, tsk, paham2 uh. mesti last minit cancel. bleah. have lesson again frm 3-6. mundane much. like really. everyone seems dead and of course empathize with my situation. bleah. went to pasar mlm with rachel and had our mini dinner. went home straight. show my pathetic face to family. ahhahaha. and we went to swensens. woop woop. hehehk. i love my family, i swear. spent up to two hrs there. and off home. did my assignmnt till one. and fam went to jrong port fr bbq stuff. sayangs drgsss. :)
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{girl_happy @ 18. com/}
Tuesday12:09 PM
im finally 18.:) happy 18th to me. i love myself. trust me. thou i dun like wat im doing now. but come to think again, i must feel honoured to be in tp design skul as, its very hard to gt in. who knws, i might have interest later eh. take one step at a time. heheh. k la. my wish. i wish and hope and pray i can endure in design life. i dun wanna let my family, esp my mum n bro down. really. so insyaallah mira bole. next, i hope i will gt along well with all my classmates. eh bt wait, we are well already. heheh. later i talk abt tht classmate of mine. now, bdae wish. lol. i hope there wont be any frenship problem yet. i hope tht all my secondary frens never change , amd i love them. ok. next, i hope everything will be fine for my family.i just want my family to stay the way it is :) i hope my part time job will not gt in the way of my studies too. i think tht is part of my own effort. bleah. and , pls let me see him suffer fr once. tlg la ya Allah. dan lastly, yang penting , i wanna be a happy girl. oh wait, i think imma happy girl. heheh. sayang diri aku, nur shamira :) ok gt back to assignmnt. lol


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{woop woop/}
Sunday11:36 AM
brother is back from kl. azrul is back from rewang. mum is back wif her happy life;makn tido lappy. wah siannn. everyone sooo enjoying their life. wuek. me not. hais. but nehmind. work hard now yooo. im done with my assignmnt. first time ever, im done before 12. lol. but this wouldnt have happened if ayrie nvr help me. yay yay. nasib ader jugak kwn nak tlg. ini namenya true fren. heheh. sayang dia. so i ended my assignment. and back to tumblr. like finally. heheh. and ohh, broder bought fr me a love necklace. suke sangat yo. fr my advance bdae. and oh, Did i update? im doing a mini celebration fr my 18th bdae. i hope my sec five and primary frens datang. rindu drg sangat2 :/ really. and i will be 18 in a few days. da bole g clubbing. ceh wtf. itu tak penting. yang penting, boleh amik license kereta. woop woop. and it will be zu bdae. yay yay. sayang twin aku nie. tapi dia tak datang nanti. sedih sedih sedih.pls. i wish and pray she come. sayang dia. ok bye. nak tDo da. mlm yo.
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11:26 AM
hi. not an ideal weekend fr me this time. but wat to the eva. its part of my life. tuisyn students did light up my life. :) ilovethem. yay. my sec one student is getting rapat wif me. yay. i love the way he dun regard me as a teacher. but as his frens. he will giv me intresting stry every wik. heheh. aniways. here is a random post. i think im falling fr him. but wait, thts impossible huh. wah sian. he and i. is like not made for each other. ah bleah. aniways i dun even knw whu im talking abt now. really. cant you see there isnt any description abt him? o.O haha phuck my life. forever alone......... lalalala bored.
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{on the verge of giving up/}
Tuesday11:42 PM
today is tuesday uhuh. i have been sick since sunday. i swear im hungry now. havent eat since mon morning. :( yay much. my bro never let me do my assignment. ask me sleep all the way. sape nak layan. wed is my assignment due. i hvent finish. howww. :( me no care already.me want quit school. really. haix. ya Allah, sungguh mira tak tau kenape letak mira dalam course design. i cant even manage. art have been my greatest enemy since primary :( Buat ape mira blaja psle pandai2 , nlevel pandai2 , olvel pandai2 . kalau tak boleh dapat ape yg mira nak. might as well i dont study well back then. might as well i dun bother having a so called dream career and stuff. really. mira blaja sbb nak buat ape yg mira suke. bukan ape yg mira benci. :( :( :( ni bukan jalan hidup yg mira nak. huh. jantan tu tak pernah blaja bila pat umah. psle fail. nlevel barely pass. tapi kenape dia dapat ape yg dia nak?! cita2 dia tercapai. sumpah tak paham. kenapa semue org percaya yg dia lah yg terbaik dlm keluarga ni. knape?:( i think i have proven myself well enuf. phuckme. bila dia akan pergi dari hidup ni? aku benci dia sumpah aku benci binatang mcm dia. dia tak patut wujud dlm dunia ni,ya Allah. kalau dia tak pergi dari dunia ni, aku rela pergi. i have nothing else to achieve in this wrld sia. atuk,amik la mira:( :( :( :( kalau taknk, doakan la mira kebahagian dan keadilan di dunia ini. benci jantan tu. :/
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{not liking these modules:(/}
11:41 PM
hi school have strtd since last wik. and yea, pressure up again, as expctd. wells,it have been a wik since school strt aniways. im having architectual rendering as well as communicating dsign idea on the same day. i swear i cant cope. really :( :( its a nine to six. and reach home only at nine pm. me not liking this at all. oh wells. aniways arc rendering is kinda fun. but....assignmnts are way too many thou. :( i cant take it already. gahh. and wats more, thly nvr go into details. which is kinda hard fr me to understand. :/ haix. the next sub is .... no comment. its all abt taking perfect eng and writng a good essay and convey idea wells. bahh. and the lecture kinda suckssss. so boringg. and first lesson alr gt misunderstandng wif clssmates. phuck huh. bt wtv to all these. must endure whutt. fr anoder 3 fking years. :( me cannt take it thou.
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{hate you , like really/}
11:40 PM
i feel very suckyy much. i dun knw why again and again , both nad n i have a misunderstanding with him. it kinda sucks thou. as he is eVerywer. we will have to face him evryday, to be exact. yesterday, we did a grp work. supposedly, both nad and me aint in his grp. bt yet, the lecturer want us togedr. bahh sucky. i cant work,perfectly,which someone i once had a prob with. tht applies to nad as well. and so we had this mini work , which require only five minit of our time. first,i didnt see nor hear them planning aniting. next,he throw the blame at me. phuck him ok. aftr the so called Mini presentation is done. he went back to his place. and strted talking abt me. :/ i is saddd. he said tht i have ashamed him. as he dun knw how to speak proper eng. i mean phuck u. i dun even knw wats ur idea is all abt. how am i sppsed to present. if u think im afraid of the crowd, then im soo gonna prove you wrong. since wen im an anti social and soft-spoken? bitsch. next, he said tht he is tired. still y must it be him presenting. stupig you. the whole kelas is tired right. including me. whut? u work? so. then i dun? -.-. eee aku benci kau. and nowadays ur like everwer near my sight. gah. and eVryone is like saying ur good, yr kind, ur understanding. i mean phuck you ok. because to me,ur not. ur just too confident. bt wtv. im not gonna fight with u thou. i knw my art suck. so i beta shutup in kelas, in case u bring up abt ur art talent. gahhh. i hate u biatch.
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{busy weekend. tiring much/}
Monday7:44 AM
busy plus very tiring weekend. bt i have gt to endure. for at least a year? idk. sat morning, tuisyn at yishun. gave her a math test. happy me. she scored 88/100. like omgg. i can never gt tht kind of marks. bt wait,this test is easy actually. ok wtv. straight aftr tht, went to boon lay, fr anothr lesson. gave her malay test, yet, she scored only 34/60. :( gah nak mati. mampos aku. haix. all this ended at 6pm. and met mum, to find for baby irfan present . it took us an hr or so. and then,its alr night wen i reached home :( did all those housechores and its alr 11 :( and its time fr me to rest,finally. however in less than 30min, im asleep alr. i guess im tired. bt no one understands tht. bt i dun mind. sunday, wake up very early. went for tuisyn at yishun . gave him test and he gt a fcking 18/60! thts not funny. omg im tired teaching those whu doesnt have any interest in the subject. really. went to my new student hm, at teck whye. i had trouble going there. bt at last, i did reach. and i came at 3, the student have just wake up. wells i dun mind. and he is quite ok. i guess. i hope. i pray. straight after tutoring, went to.pasir ris. waited fr my mum and my.bro drive us to aloha chalet. it was baby irfan birthday. soo many pple which i dun knw. even thoy,its my cus badae. >< buhh. and he is a real lucky baby. really. stayd there until half of the people were gone. played monopoly deal till 10pm. and i was disrupted by my so called aunt conversation. { mira ni kalau jadi menantu aku,untung aku. da la pandai, lawar macam model. } i ignored,completely. ni mesti ade udand.sebalik mee. bt then,thy kol me. i had to go forward whutt. { ah mira, bila kau abes skola nie? lame nah tiga tahun. ah takper,hantaran 20000 ok kan? } nak termuntah aku. ade makcik aku nak aku kawin dengan anak dia. tkder maknanya. i was disgusted by their converstion. it seems real. im scared really. because i have been hearing abt this since last 4 yrs :( gahh. gth. went home around 1am. and reach home at 2. :( sooo fking tired. :( no more rest till end of the mnth. ya Allah, penat nya. how am i gonna work every weekends. i wonder.
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7:43 AM
helo. friday, met zu at admiralty. early in the morning. fr whut? ahaha, to stdy eng. ceh wtf sia. dulu masa olevel,tkder plaq kuase nak blajar. hah kan da susah. hahah. so she kinda coach me and point out the imp point to me. and here and there, a lil stry telling , a lil laughter. and so, we seperated around 1230. she went straight to bugis while i went to wdlands. met aishah. gahh like finally. macam mau jumpa vip gitu ah. and i waited fr her till like 230. bt nehmind. and so we went to tapau-ed food and lepaks at our usual place. to be honest, im nt really comfortable wif her alr. maybe due to the fact tht i havent met her fr a long time.. or maybe....ah no maybe. gah idk. i cant really gt her sense of humor animore. idk why. im supposed to gt it rite? i mean,i have been hearing tht kind of humor since sec one? hmm,idk really. to not make myself look awkward, which i obviously wont show it , i just talk and talk and talk. and just laugh and laugh and laugh. and i lepaks wif her till 630. i guess if im wasnt free on tht day, i might never see her....like....idk until when. ok wtv. went to work strait aftr tht. gave my student a test. saddening much, she scored 38/60 :/ :( idk wat i shud i do. i have alr given my best. hmm tawakal sudah mira.
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