its have been a long time since i post something about....my relationship with a certain guy. wells, i havent been contacting any guys since march. like contact as in close contact, msg-ing every hr and stuff. because of tht one guy, ive kinda gave up to have a bf and stuff. yes, i still chat wif othr guy till now. but tht is all nothing. and so, now im involve in this *love-feeling* again. worst still, he have gt a girlfren wen he was contacting me. wells, i have post abt him before. we strted txting each othr on sat. till now. i met him on monday aftr i ended school. to be honest, t think i shouldnt be meeting him. but still i did meet him. as a fren , right? there shudnt be any problems. and so, we took the bus and headed to wdlnds. during the bus journey, we talk alot. and thts wat make me comfortable. nothing happened in the bus. and i didnt feel anything too. so i thought, ya, maybe we can just remain frens. and he sent me home aftr reaching wdlands. initially, ive wanted to go home and tht is around 830. but, instead, we spent our time talking near the park at my home. he talk abt his gf, and how he is irritated by her, and how their relationshp is going. and soooo,i listen to his stry. and comment here and there. believe it or not, i spent time wif him till 1130. o.O and he sent me till my blck. and..he did hold my hand. which i thought its okay. i dun find it a problem wen a fren hold anoder fren's hand. so...ya, i knw imma bustard up till here. and the next day was his bdae. i did wish him thru msg. i knw tht he wanted me to wish him thru phone. but, then agian, i feel that is his gf job. not mine. im just a fren. his gf shud have the priority instead. i knw i did the right thing. so i though maybe we wouldnt be meeting each othr again. like in a few days la. but unfortunately no. he met me the next day, which is his bdae. his initial plan was to sent me to school ONLY. of course i would agree. just sent to school only whut. and we arrive a bit early. so i decided to treat him as its his bdae. headed to macd. and...thts where i think the feeling arouse. i think. believe it or not, i skip school. my class strted at 3. and i didnt go. instead im wif him. wells, its not because of him la. its because im alr lazy actually. and with him psycho-ing me, im became more lazy. and so, we spent three freaking hrs in macd. and thts where he strtd to touch my hand. but wait, touch only. still i already feel guilty at tht momnt. guilty..because his gf have been serching fr him since morning. guilty...because he is someone's guy. guilty.. because he spent his bdae wif me n nt his gf. i knw imma bustard. :(((( and we headed to roof top at tamp one. and im not gonna elaborate more. oh wait, dont think too far. i knw my limit and obviously he knw his too. actually, we went there just to spent time and talk la. there, his gf kol and txted him non-stop. and there, my hart and mind keep scolding me. *MYRA, SUNGGUH KAU BUSTARD. PMPN DIA TGH CARIK DIA. RISAU TNTG DIA. NAK CELEBRATE DENGN DIA. TAPI KAU LAGI BOLE SPENT TIME DENGN DIA. KAU NI ORG JENIS APE SIA?* :(((( to be honest , yes, i kinda hate myself fr tht. why???:((( pfft. i suck. and then we headed to yishun. ive gt tuisyn to teach. we arrive there at 630. kelas strt at 730. we hve gt one hr. so ya , we talk and talk. but....believe it or not, i didnt went to tuisyn in the end. why? idk. maybe lazy. idk. and so ... he sent me home. and arrive bb at 9. befre boarding the bus, yes he did hug me, and if im not wrong , he did kiss me. and off he go. yes, i was kinda happy. you knw why? he spent 10 freaking hours on his bdae wif me. thou i dint do anything much. he appreciated me. i can see tht. and, ya, the feeling of like arouse. and.....the feeling of guilty keep increaing. okay, there is some more i wanna post. will continue in the next post. o.O my post seem kinda long.

Labels: if im wrong, pls guide me thru, ya ALLAH. i didnt mean to come in between.