hey baby, i think i wanna marry you <3

Do you know me?
Because you know, we gotta be strong
~20 july babe, and im proud of my mum fer bringing me up,alone:") ~attached & belongs to the best xx ~i have suffer too many setback. bring it on. i will stay strong P3221562-horz eee d f e w

Thank you
Make the stars look like they're not shining
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{relationship is meant for two, and never three/}
Wednesday9:59 AM
Here i am, blogging, as promised to myself, cause i cant keep everythng in my heart anymore. just fyi, i lost my diary. sigh. so blog here i come again. Sometimes, i always asked myself where did i go wrong in life. whenever somthing happen, i askd myself if do i even deserve it. so, to cut it straight, i remember how much i detest guys. i detest them to the extent of no-no rs. but only mere flirting. i always told myslef to just contact with all the guys and flirt around, as i really hate them. but, then, came along a god gift, he changed my mind, he changed my view, he changed my thoughts and....almost everythng.

everythng about me changed eversince. i love him. i gave him everythng. i just told myself that i have to be a good girlfriend. a girlfriend who will make him stay. a girlfriend who deserve him and otherwise. a girlfriend who is destined to be with him.

however, as days passed by, i cant deny, im afraid of reality. im afraid of karma. im afraid of evevrythng tht might happen. i wish i can just hug, kiss, everythng and be his girlfriend forever. karma, reality? whats tht? thts what i did to other girls. tbh, if some of you have been reading my blog post, you guys might say im a bitch. why? late 2010, a guy in a rs met me. i  met him. and he fought with his girlfriend. and everythng went haywire. since then, i told myself to stop. stop. but then, that was back then. Alhamdulilah they are getting on fine now. and mid last year, my bf who was in a rs met me. we met. we laugh. we held hand. we hug. we kiss. we told each other our secrets, our everythng. and hence after, he broke up with his girlfriend.

what happen? they fought, she suffered emotional breakdown, thinking where she went wrong, and it was alll ruin due to a third party. what im afraid of? reality is this......them.....

these flawless girl. these girl who have long, straight hair. this girl who doenst even need makeup to make them pretty. these girl..... they are my reality. you know wht im afraid of? the same thing which i did to other girl. thts all. thts it. i told myself not to bother with all these beautiful girls who entertain my bf. but still.....i cant. i cant. i have tried to hate my bf for this, thou i cant.
i always told myself....not to bother. this is our rs. it doesnt involve all these hoes.

this gg one year relationship is only between aliff haidar and nur shamira, and i have to be positive and shouldnt let my mind go wild. no, we are not fighting, nor are there any girls. these are just my random thought which i have been supressing for way too long. this relatioship is between me and him, only.

i love you, very very very much. and i just hope you realised that.

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{monday blues ~~/}
Monday1:28 AM

hi everyoneee, hahahah today is my first time ever back home at 1 from school. yayyy. monday blues indeed :) today was communication practice, thou we didnt have and presentation nor 6p nor quiz. instead, we had a so called activity thing in the hall. its really a cute session together with kelasmate. haha wen first met naomi all, she was like, 'eh hello u in rp la not tp, wear rp shirt la!' ahhaha eventhou my shirt doesnt have any tp wording. later on, we had a so called blind fold game, and the one which i like was the debating. such suddenly remond me of my life in secondary. forever debating wif everyone, be it kelasmtae or tchers. ;') those were the times.... hehe. but aniways, later on we had a so called blindfold game and another so called amazing race game. hahahha after yrs of not running, a lil bit of exercise really ache us uh. and ta daaaaa, its a wrap for the day! just needa do rj quest. while on my way back, had a chat with aisyah otp, hopefully meet her soon! ok go, gonna have my nap nowzx.
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{abang apit da tunanggg hehe/}
12:26 AM

Hi everyoneee, i realised i havent blog about my brother's engagemnt dayyy. hahahhahah no im not a bad sister, im just forgetful. and so... yup he gt engage with kak jannah on 19 may! yayayay. thou the day befre was super fvking hetic.slept only at 6am. and bf even overnight there. but its ok as it was super worth it. oh and i realised tht my skill of wrapping things have dropped, tremendously! hiakhiak. aniwaysss, brother was super happpyyyyyy. hahah, went over to kak jannah hse and she was very excited as well. really happy fr this! and they exchanged a total of 12 hantaran?ya roughly la. brother recived an adidas watch which is shuperr nice.and wen we came back, he open up all the food fr hantaran. swear it was too much and sweet and ... fruity and jelak:( heheheh aniwyas let the picturesss elaborate

heheheeh knw whut i decided not to upload pic tht much as so ma fan. end off wif my face oki loveliess

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Sunday9:34 PM

Blogging right now cos im feeling really really awful. like very awful. have been feeling sick nowadays. or should i say these 3 days. coughing non stop and my throat isnt getting any better. im a very strong girl. i can get sick and get well all by myself. i dont need medicine and doctors. but.... i need my pillar of strength. i was coughing non stop, fr three days straight, amazingly none asked me how im feeling or watsoever. wen i was at cukya hse, aman/asmar/izad was coughing. and cukya got all kanchiong and immediately asked them to eat med. i was ok still. worst is those which i thought would care, didnt. its kinda hurtful,right? idk, im abit sensitive nowadays. cranky most of the time. jealousy all over. but what can people expect. tbh, i actually have gone through a bit too much. to the extent of not being able to withstand it. it sucks.... sometimes all i asked for was basic concern and ya care and concern. sigh
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{happy 10th aliff haidar and shamyra/}
Tuesday9:04 AM
5th of june, today, marks our 10 monthsarry. Yayyyy. Hehehehe. 10 months may be nothing to you people. But it definitely means alot to me. Why? Cos this is my first ever relationship. This guy,i have only known him for 2 weeks and accepted him within tht 2 weeks. This guy, have met my family members and all. And this guy, is the guy which i rly wanna spent my entire life with. I know i sound cliche. But...im serius. Heh. 10 months.... It took him just 10 days to make me love him. So now 10 months obviusly he have make me head over heels in love with him. Im always looking forward in meeting him. Even thou just a short meetup for dinner, im still excited. Hahahah why. Idk. He just have this personality in him which make him really special and addictive. Aha which is also split personality? Yes. He can shout at me, angry with me, throw tantrums on me. But the next mmnt, he'll be all ok. Believe it or not, we just had a fight on the 3rd. But the next day wen i met him, he was all sweet and caring and awkwardly cute hahaha. Okla. Tbh, we just had a fight. like just, tday, on our 10th month. i really regret the fight. and most importantly im truly disappointed with my ownself. tbh, i have been waiting for our 10 monthsarry. cos i know i kinda didnt really celebrate it well last mnth. i have been making plan fr us, actually. i wanted to buy fr him this and that. howver in the end, money is the issue. and cos of that, i promise myself, that i'll spent as much time as possible with him without disappointing him. but, i just did. k just freaking did. omgawd, i still dk why he is sucha naise huy. evne after i hav throw tantrum on him, he still comfort me. sigh. how can i even hate him? or leave him? he is just too simply.....undescribable :( i really love him, i swear. i really hope tht he will never ever leave me or give up on me. really. i know today monthsarry post is abit lengthy but i realised tht i really cant bear to part with him. i realised tht sometimes, i am really sellfish. i always always wanna spent time with him. i should really spare a thought for others. :> happy 10th monthsarry dear, i love you forever, i swear

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