You're amazing.

{best friend/}

Tuesday7:59 AM

oh ya, so yes another person who actually met me after my emotional breakdown was ayrie. yes long time i didnt met him. like really long. hahahahha. so ya on tht day i was actually schooling. and he fb pm me 'sry aku baru tua krg da break. asal sie' and on tht day i wasnt actually on a ranting mood or mood to type. so yup i said we'll meet one of the days and ya lah ranting session. so he said tht maybe he can meet me on tht day. and since he reply me so long..... and i thought its not knfrm....i went home....and.... sleeeeeeep heh heh heh. hahahhaha i fall asleep at 5:30 and woke up only at 845pm hahahhaha and when i woke up i see so mny txt frm ayrie saying he alr ended up, he reaching soon, and he reach my blk area. so.......... guess wht he actually waited fr me since 7-9 sia hahahhahha hais. and he didnt even complained nor scold me. hais. ni kalau org lain, i already kene scold one hr sia hahhahahha. met him at my study corner. and so yup ranting session and bit of catchup session. idk why he sanggup to meet me on tht day when he end werk already so lambat and werk so far and stay far frm me. wah mcm nak ketuk2 kepala dia. sigh. this just teach me one thing tht my best friend is still my best friend. no matter how long we havent meet each other, he still make time fr me when knowing im not okay and stuff. hais. and so the next week which is yesterday we met fr a short meetup, and since i wanna apply co at lot one. so we had our catch up session again yesterday. yay.

so ha ha ha he didnt even tell me he is reaching therefore i dont even hav the time to siap zzzzz

{date with shilah/}

7:27 AM

lets updateeeeee. sooo i went to sleep at aunt hse fr three days when mum went to bangkok. and yes brother is all alone at homey with only kecik. hehehheh. sleepeover there with azrul. and yes literally forget about eveyrthing when i have azrul,izad and aman with me. loveliest cusin ever. and i have no idea what im doing there. hahahha like u know i spent most of my time finding wifi network fr my phone which is a total fail, and i actually played mortal combat all day long, and played 3 round of monopoly with them. ha ha ha mcm happy gitu eh hidup. padahal zzzzz.

so ya, when back home, phone was spammed with watsapp. smiled when people ask me how i am alr and stuff. and gt to knw shilah txted me multiple times at my previous number to ask how im doing. so i wtaspap her and she was all full of anger when txting me bout wht im gg thru. hahhahaha macam dia pulak yg go through ahhahaha. and so we plan to meet on the saturdayyy. yay!!!

so met her at 3 at adm. and she is so late by 15 min.... tht i can take 50 shot of myself ha ha ha.

heheheh, so she came after 15 min laterrrrr. and guess wht we coincidently wore the same color of bajuuuuu. hheheheheh kk. and yes right after we met, the ranting session strt out. hahahahha. we headed to vivo as she needa go sephora to buy her makeup neccesities. wah this girl quit her job already work at croc now. uhum. so jauh, kennut visit her. and yes, everythng on tht day was her treat. cos u know, thts like my first time ever gg out wif my kawan without any $$, cos i just dont have any $$. sigh.... i actually went to f21 to ask if thy hv part time vacancy and all shops now need full timer instead. sigh. and i swear topshop is having a sale with those kind of baju which i exactly need....... u know, how suck it is. sigh. and so we have our dinner at seah imm! :") and guess what we ate exactly wht i used to ate wif u. sigh.

this is how she just left her stuff. memang tak sayang barang hais

so while having our dinner, she book paranormal activity 4 online,shaw bugis yayyyyy. and yes just when we thought we are late fr our movie, we are actually far too early hahahaha.

But aniways this girl tried to cheered me up, but in a way make me angry as well. cos just when i was frgtting abt shits, she have to strt back. hahahaha geram. and she was like ' eeee geram sia aku. ni kalau aku aku da .... kau ni baik sgt asal dengn dia. bla3' hahahhahaha. and..... i still defended him in a way. and this shilah was like hais kau ni kenapa kau gini...gini...gini... hahahaha.

so yes we watched pa4 at 7:30pm! and i swear there is like only around 15 people in the cinema hahahahhaha so u know mcm buat kita makin takut. but the amount of ads befre the movie just have to be a spoiler. zzzzzz. so when the movies strt already then kita terpekik ah then nachos with us, like mcm nak tercampak hahahahah, so we actually didnt eat the nachos cos we put aside. like till end movie we ddint eat tros...buang :') aniways the movie was okay. like u knw wht make it seram is the unlimited suspence ah. but overall its ok. but hahahhaha the ending hahahahah its stupid like hahhahaha stupid ah. then the person infrnt of us ckp mcm left 4 dead. hahah ya sia the ending merepek zzzzz. but aniways its a worth it movie.

right after movie, we headed to bigis street. SO U GUYS CAN IMAGINE HOW IM FEELINGGGGGG hahahahhahahaim so fcking irittaed like shit and jealous like shit cos i no $$ and all my awesome clothes are in there.... sigh. and i saw the floral jeans i hv been aiming for, and its selling fr only $20 sigh i wanna kill myself cos it just so cheaper than online :(( and thy actually have this baju i hv been aiming fr fr $20 only. and shilah bought it, cos i just forced her too hahahhahah. cos its like too cheap how can one possibly not buy it. i actually gt try it once at metro. this how it look like!

yes this exact same dress. shilah bought this in black fr only 20 dole. i tried this at metro, and metro was selling it for 45 dole or somthing..... sigh...... so ya, shilah bought a sandal as well! the one which i hv bought befre at rush too! hahahha we actually kinda got the same taste so gg shopping wif her would definitely be awesome. we were there till most of the shops were closed hahahhaha. and decided to rest at starbuckkkk.

so yes we actually took lotsa photo till we didnt realise the time hahahhahah, went home, after a long day spent with her. going home....alone....at night....sucks. but aniways i love her. upon hearing bout it, she took the effort to contact me and ask how and all. and immediately plan a meetup to cheer me up. i love her. mwah mwah,wee

our ootd for our saturdate. meet you soon, beb :")

{end. of . us /}

Friday12:09 PM

so hi hi hi :") its the 27th october. 2012 sure do pass by fast, i swear. so yes. some news. i have totally move on ha ha ha. well......knw what at tht time i was still clinging onto hopes. but when he called me an attention seeker thts whn i realised he's sucha .... who dont even wanna admit shits he have done to me... this kind of guy really deserve a slap frm me. but well if im given a chance i would.
so......i used to respect him alot. really alot. like u know when we was in a rs, i gv him the freedom to just do whatever he want, he may flirt with watever shit,just dont cross my limits. thts all. and ya..... so far he didnt cross my limit, hence i respect him alot.... but....one week after we broke off, poof u lost it. just like tht.

hate? no i wont and actually i dont even have the hate feeling. someone who once meant the world to me for 14 mnths, and i'l hate him? i wont.....

so i already know why he left me. why he ditch me. why he dont love/want/need me anymore. why im being treated this way.

so...........initially he said í'll be busy with ns and career, i wont have time to meet u' so yes. i believed ha ha ha and i even thought of 1001 ways just to assure him tt idm. then he said 'íts not you, its me. you are perfect. its just me...im guilty.' so ha ha ha i told him i knw wht shit u hv done and it actually doesnt matter. then he said 'we can be friends...who knows, close friend.' so i said idw be close fren i wan u as my bf. and sooooooo he finally said 'my feelings towards u have fade. part of me wanna be wif u. but another part wanna leave u' so ha ha ha i thought maybe ya. it hv fade. even thou throughout tht 14 mnth i love and pampered him like a baby. but ya i told myself there isnt another girl ah in his life. sooooooooooooo

tada. as much as i thought he havent found a new girl. he actually did. and guess whatttt he even watsapped me their picture. uhuh. and he ditch me for a girl. ditch this fcking faithful loyal girl for another girl. so...............................urm.....where's the logic?

the logic is he have long intended to leave me cos da bosan....kut. even when i always entertained him with my shit regardless of whut time. bt oh well. knw why i said intended to leave since da lame. cos he met tht girl already when kita baru break fr less than a week! and.. dia kate dia wanna leave me cos dia busy with this and tht when he just doesnt knw how to tell me......

so know what?

this is for you and tht girl. ha ha ha u left me for somone who is not even prettier than me (all of my friends opinion zzzzz) like hello muke decent tak semesti dia tu baik sgt. and knowing u for so long.... i thought u gt a better tasteeeee. mcm nak jumpe tu pmpn and freaking knock some shits in her head. but knw wht by doing tht it just mean im still chasing u. so no. u are definitely not a keeper, anymore. why must i stoop so low just fr u eh. not worth it. but whtever. knw wht fck u and tht girl. why eh she enter ur life. i knw ur answer will be 'dia bestf i.' 'i need a girl bestf' or erm whtever. knw why i hate her. cos she bloody enter ur life / layan you when she knw you are in a rs. and for god sake we havent had a big fcking fight for so long. so......why eh carik a girl bestf to pour out shits eh. and im like 24/7 for u sia... so erm.....? where's the logic eh. but yalah, like what u said 'kita takde jodoh' ha ha ha mmg la takder jodoh kalau u selingkuh zzzzzz.

but know what.....maybe ya i deserve someone better. as sweet as u. but again tht someone should stay la kan.............and not just feed me with empty promises

im not wishing u guys all the best nor whatever la. cos know what. a guy who make a women cries for a thousand times wont be happy. one day in the middle of the night you will realised how stupid u are.

im complimenting myself? no im not. but i know i hv given my 110% in tht rs. i tried so hard to make it last. i didnt eat at schl just so as i can saved mny fr our date. i forced myself to do multiple meetups in a day just so we can hv some fun. i saw somethng tht caught my eye but i push tht aside and bought somethng for u. i went down to the public phone just to ask u how u doing. i waited fr u for 4 hrs without complaining cos i just wanna meet u. i calmed u down even when im upset myself cos idw fight. i resisted talking to my classmate which is guys just so u wont be insecure. i txted u my whereabout every single time cos idw u to be worried. i tried so hard to wear as decent as possible cos idw u to feel insecure when othr people look at me. i topup my ppd each time it finish just so i can update u when im outside. i ditch my friends just so i can be wif u. i stayed at home while ur werking/stay in cos idw u to think wildly. i went home at the timing u gave just so i can earn ur trust. i bring u home to meet mum brother uncle aunt everyone just so i could prove to them ths rs will last till marriage. i said sry for evrythng.....just so i could be perfect.

ha ha ha ha sigh.....im tht....stupid....cos .... i have 100% faith in u.... zzzzzzz

uhm.........

so.... guys? ha ha ha i had enuf of heartache...... its time to live my life with my friends and family obviusly.

{positive myra!/}

2:40 PM

so hi evryone. lets update about my life. aniways, just wanna get things clear, im stil clinging onto hopes, but yes i know its over. i know. ill remind myself that every second. so .... my relationship status....

weird? shock? well..... even i am shock tooo... i didnt anticipate this, but life must go on. life must go on, alot of thing is awaiting me. aniways we ended our relationship in a good way i supposed. but some part of him just make things worse, which i wont want to step to his level. ill try to stay strong. when i tweeted i was single, so many of them asked me what happen and said im kidding. i wish i was kidding, i wsh it was just a joke. but no, it was the truth which i just cant acccept. about what happen, i have no idea... well we broke off, and it wasnt even my fault. like he claimed.. its okay myra, move on.

and yes, its already the 5th day im single. still clinging. still trying to sleep and get over him. give me time, i'll be okay soon. well, its hard la, there is just too many memories and happy thing we did together. too many, i swear. forget about the memories?

sigh.... tbh, i still havent hate him, up till now. i may be ranting and spiting vulgurs, but i still didnt hate him. i tried. he watsapp me in a bad way yesterday, really bad, and i couldnt take it actually. i tried to reply the same way like how he did, but i cant..... i ended up typing the same old shit i used to type wen we fight during our rs. somthng is wrong wif me. u knw whts that. hope. hope. hope. too kind. too kind. hahahahah, its in my blood. hahah, k no, its actually cos i swear i still respect him. he may have left me, but he left me in a good way. he may have left me, but maybe, its all for the better. he may hate me, but i wont cos he was once the reason i smile. laugh. everythng.

furthermore, i rly dun wanna argue with him. 1st - we are still friends. in future, i might turn to him when i hav prob, as he is the only one who knw me tht much. 2nd - i dun wan him to treat me like how he treat his ex. it hurt i swear. 3rd - its doesnt benefit me. at all. and im rly tired of peple gg in and out of my life. just hope he stay, as a friend.

so i went to my aunt hse, and my aunt actually said he posted in fb. i was shocked, well i rly didnt anticipate this. one thng i fkcing hate is posting on fb. i hv never like people posting bad stuff on fb. its a social website, perosnal issues shouldnt be there. sigh. but i really cant do anythng. everyone may be siding him. but he sure do know, how good i was to him. its all in the heart.

so yes, positive mindset? hahaha, it took me five day to finally be this positive. i thought my life gonna be over when he left me, cos im just too used to have him being there fr me. but shit just gonna make me stronger. one of the reason why i managed to be strong is my friendssssss. i love them i swear. aisyah wassaped me every morning telling me how much she love me and how i need to be strong.

sry but yes my phone is tht pathetic, no screenshot hahhaha, so this is the only thing i managed to do. and there there is people asking me wht happen, txting me. and i ignored. :(

and there is advices.....

and my iqah actually tweet alot of time to me, scolding me, i love her, but im just not that strong to reply. sigh, gonna meet her this monday, which im just gonna cry and kene scolded hahahahha. so not ready to meet her hahahaha

hahhaha this is funny thou. went to class like i wanna cry, i swear i didnt know i was tht weak. sigh la.

and those which continue giving me advices.

and even the one who is not contacting me anymore can see what shit im gg through. haba txted me,yvonne. and most of my classmate. :')

my baobei yvone

and zu taking the effort to cheer me up to :") i didnt really complained or rant at her cos she is someone who wont be bother about rs, but im just so happy when she bothered to advice me. heheh. so happy when i knew i still have frens i can count on. i love her heh

and lastly haziq. which actually cheered me up every time i went hais or sad face or whatever.

and most of it was from watsapp actually, so i couldnt screeenshot. and went to meet him actually for dinner cos i was just super hungery and he actually schl nearyby. been two years since we met. awkward? obviusly no. cos.... its in our blood hahah k no. and he actually really tried to make sure im really ok. even at 2am, he still entertain me emo-ing. hats off. and yes he was one of the reason why i became stronger, cos each time he will feed me wif new motivating quotes which i dun even understand hahaha, but just nod and say i agree ah kan. and we actually had the most annoying converstaion ever yesterday, which actually turn my tears into laughter. idk why, but i told him too much about myself, too much. but cos i know he can be trusted. tbh, we wasnt even close wen sec cos he was irritated with my voice... pft. but i swear i was quite happy having him as my close fren during these few days. i dm-ed him asking him to call me, and yes he did call and listen to my shit for an hr. and we countinue on watsapp. and it goes on till now. which is 3/4 days? bless he took the time to entertain me? maybe. bless he tried to cheer me up? yes.

but aniways i love them for being there for me. and tbh, i neglected all my frens when im attached. cos all i know and all i wnat is to spent time with him. no, no regrets thou. cos spending time with him was one of the best thing ever. i swear. :")

i love this actually.

but no i dont really blame u. u watsapp me saying u was hurt by my previus blogpost(which i alr delete). maybe i was abit harsh, cos i was rly damn upset and agry at tht mmnt. but then i know thruout the 14 mnth, u are sincere. i know. and yes, im sry.

been watching lots of breakup video, advices frm fren, and all shit.

now? im smilling again, cos i deserve to be happy. i know that. i deserve to be happy. you too thou :") i know how much u have gone thru since u were young till now. im strong, so can u. no ill never hate u. and talking bad bout u will never be in my dictionary unless im just really pissed off. sigh.

and i have been feeling this way sigh, till now.

this? no never. will never delete u frm my life. aniways yr number is etched on my mind. so....

i swear, im still gonna brag bout u in times to come, and my friend will surely be slapping me hahahha. but i actually how good u were to me.

alright gonna end my post now, if you need me, im here. just dont make me cry all over again, heh.

i cant wait for lunch date with iqah, ila, yvonne, and meetup with bestf aisyah and zu, and movie this tuesday cos im dying fr one.

im okay already everyoneee, see im smiling hehe

and yes, been having lots of pimple nowadays, no idea why, but im sure gonna strt gg facial again cos my face is so important hais can die. ok lah, update soon :")