6pm, friday evening. enjoying my offday with just my lappy, loud music and ice lemon tea.
times when you are alone are usually when you really tend to overthink. just overthink bout every possiblities.

woke up yesterday morning and overheard my mum nagging. she said ths, exactly thz to my brother ' adek kau tu mcm binatang, cume dia banatang yg tak ade otak'
i really have no idea how to react to that, hence i countinue sleeping, at least i can escape frm reality. i used to have the best mum. the mum which is not just my mum, but more of a best friend. the mum who always always share everything to me and vice versa. the mum who always msg me bout every other thing. the mum which is very supportive. the mum which most of my friends are jealous of.
idk bout now. somehow or rather, my mum might think 'asl aku ade anak mcm dia' 'aku menyesal mengandungkan dia'. Beg my pardon, but i dont know.. i have been really really independant. school and werk. and not eating at schl as i do not have any allowance. gg home expecting food when there's just maggie. idk. i'll not complain still. the only one whu have to hear me complaining will just be my boyf.
but. to call me an animal, when i hav been really independant and not asking any money at all and still do the house chores, wow. just sigh. i gave up.


i still will say im blessed i hv the perfect family, still. as much as my mum throw harsh words on me, i still love her. why. cos she spent 19 years of her life bringing me up, perfectly.



my relationship. it have been nearly 3 months we are back together. perfect. i shall just say i do not regret getting back together with him. i shall say i have gt back my perfect life.i shall say i ahve things to look forward every now and then. i shall say my life hav gt a lil bit more meaning now. i shall say im officially quite attached to him. (especially when i hv only him to complain things and story-telling)

there are times i just wish he is not in ns, like he is done with ns. with him being in ns, i just find myself to be super clingy. just annoyingly attached and clingy. not to defend myself, but i do give him alot of freedom. freedom where he gt do whatever with all his friends. im just clingy when i dont get to talk to him at all in a day.

what makes me happy? just a 10 min talk with him at random time of the day. just tht with simple gdnight wish to end my day.
attached and clingy? idk if tht defines me.

So hey, finally an off day tmrw, im so happy!! a week not meeting my boyf....i ... feel ... like ... dying.
aniwys, i hv no idea why i still havent blog bout my werk. ha ha maybe cos the werk is jus too hetic and time consuming! but aniways, yes back to retail line. i hv no idea why i torture myself to werk fr a $5/hr job instead of werking $25/hr job. yup.
im regretting it bits to bits now. but its ok. kinda miss werking retail. and back to serving these unreasonable and friendly customer. hewhew.

on a brighter note, i quite like working here. maybe cos of the colleague i hv. or maybe cos im comfortable as i can adpat very fast. (cos im clever like tt) k no. and bcos its just right beside my hse. uhuh. is westmall considered beside my hse? yep.





trying very hard to werk as many days as i can so tt end of mnth i will at least gt 500..
guess what la guys, my line have been cut, AGAIN. har har. and its a total of 150. meh
so yep i hv to werk to pay these.
and cos i wanna treat le boy fr our next mnthsarry maybe a zoo date or something.
and cos i need to buy stuff fr schl. haiya.



Aniways met up with my bestf, finally last week on my pay day! so happy to meet her hehehhehe

AND GUESS WHAT, SHE WILL BE GG TO RP TOO OMGOMGOMG IM SO HAPPY LA hehehehheheh, AND NOT ONLY HER BUT ZU TOO HEHEHHE IM SO HAPPY, ITS LIKE I FINALLY HAVE A RELIABLE FREN TO CONFIDE TO IN SCHL. WEEHEE







u guys hv no idea how happy i was to meet her la hahahah. one of the best girl i hv ever had. always and always will be thr fr me. feels like i gt back my life nw tt she's in my schl heh heh. thou i knw it will be very hard to meet la ahhaha


oh aniways. after meeting her tt day, i met my boy on the very same day, which double my happiness hehehehhe.
met him wif his usual frens, and sum sort of treated them to seafood fr dinner at gmbak. sastifying meal.





thou i hav to admit they looked like those typical ahbeng, idky but i prefer him to hang out with them. been gg out with them fr quite a couple of time, and wht i can say is idk...
alot of positive thing actually.
whats cute is tt if one of their gf is sulking, one of them will surely comfort these gf. gediit? no yes ok.
and tt is a good thing ah hahahaha
 oh hi boyfriend yg action and sweet and action and sweet


oh hi its alr 4am. im so sleepy. thrs still alot more i wanna blog. why i wanna blog? cos i like to read my blog and reminise on all the memories. so i must keep the habit to blog daily, meh.
anyways time to sleep, wan an!!

been blogging once a month now, and its not a good thing. anywys its monday gg tuesday now, gg to be 3am in awhile. yup still wide awake.
april............ idk why but im not looking forward to how my life is now.....


its been four mnth since i last talked to my mum. 4 months, life suck.....everyone knw hw close i am wif my mum. we used to be very close, very very close...... i used to have a shopping partner, i used to have someone to eat dinner wif everyday, i used to have someone to listen to my rants 24/7, i used to help my mum wif her fleas, i used to do everythng wif her....... sadly, reality just have to hit me hard now. really hard. she stop talking to me, she strted ranting all the negative thng bout me to my brother, she stop cooking fr me, she stop thinking she.....hv a daughter......

what wrong hv i did? idk. i swear idk. she keep claiming im rude, i just beg to differ. i rly dont believe in being rude to someone who watch me grow.....
she list out all the things she dun like bout me. and just decided to claim 'aku takde anak mcm kau'
tell me if its heartbreaking.....idk.
she strt to show me favouritism and biasness. she cook only fr my brother, she seek help only frm him, she does everythng fr ...... him. only fr him....
each time im home, she'll slammed her room door and does her own thing. knowing im at home the whole day, hungry, she cooked food only fr herself. knowing im sick, she just ........ ignored me.. when im sick like fck.....
idk if i shoudl feel sad or idk. my perfect is gone, slowly everythng is gone....
i rly hv nothing more to look forward in life.
gg home, wif no food, wif no one to talk to, is rly tiring....... really tiring...
if im not closed to my mum, maybe, just maybe ill be ok. but no..... we are fcking close. and suddenly boom everythng is gone.


the thoght of giving up in life is rly high..........