3am in the morning and im still not asleep. overthinking kills, i swear.......
but anyways we all knw it, we all tend to overthink. about everything, just basically everything.
insecure. apparently im not those girls who get insecure about looks, other beautiful girls or my boyfriend talking to them and shits.
what insecurity really means when i say im insecure......
is him casting me aside..... him not contacting me at all..... lets just say im just scared he'll leave me, again. every fucking time i heard couples who have been together fr years broken up, i just cant help feeling insecure bout my own relationship. each time i see a lost lasting sweet couples fall apart and gave up, i cant help but feels insecure the same thing might happen to me. its scary i swear.
i get a lil bit insecure when he didnt text me at all, when i knw he is free. why do i feel like ths? cus shits hv happen befre. its sad how i cant push this insecurities away. its just pathetic how i get scared constantly, living in my own negative imagination......
negative imaginantion.... >> scary how couples who have been together just decided to give the rs up cos of just one small thing or what sucks more, third party. i used to not care about these. i used to believe in fairytale. i used to think im the luckiest girl alive. i used to think everythng in my life is perfect. little did i know one by one everything is gone. its scary hw things change in an instant.
just one of the reason i actually can cast away my insecurites, is his promises. i take his promises seriously. those promises make me believe everything gna be perfect. those promises make me believe fairy tale will happen to me, will.
sorry for having this doubtfulness and insecurities gg on. its very tiring to feel insecure actually sigh. its pathetic how im really scared of reality................................................
promise me no matter how much u cast me, u wont ever leave me..... (yup he actually promise me this, the reason why im still holidng on and am able throw my insecurities away)
i swear i hav no idea what wuld hapen to my life if shits happen again. i swear. i lost my mum, idwanna lose him. its scary just thnking bout it, i swear.....
p.s can someone just tell me when my mum gna talk to me ever again. can it just happen now. i feel so hopeless in life now i swear... sigh. when u lost ur sister, bestfriend and mum all in one, nope its not awesome at all