haix. why poly life soo stress? hmm no, its not stressful if i really got interest in it. bt now, i dont. i find myself rather pathetic. i have hated art since young. bt the ironic thing is im pursuing a design course.worst still, pursuing an architect course. boooo. the other day i had an assignmnet which require me to draw out a plan and elevation of an art studio. and omg. it took me freaking one day. actually the whole kelas took one day to complete. haix. i dont really like my tcher. she gave us assignment today. and expect it to be done the day itself. :( i wonder how im gonna cope. mum suggested appeling to tourism course. hmm, is tht a gud idea. idk. i have spent nearly 100 buying art stuff. well, i have gt tht art interest in me alr. bt its like 5% only. wats the use. haix. gonna really mug hard. i must make my family proud. soo im just gonna persevere. how? idk. tawakal. lucky i have got very united,understanding mates. jiayou! :)

and sooo, on the 23rd april, we had a mini surprise foe brother. we wake him up around 10am, saying tht we need to go to the market. padahal, padahal >< and he was very, very, very angry. hahah because he only started sleeping at 7. lol. and we were scared tht he sees through our plan. with kak jannah help and stuff, the plan only work out at 12. boo. we blind folded him through west coast. he didnt know my mum and i would be there. but my mum soo "cute" because of the fact that my brother shouldnt knw we are there, we shouldnt talk kan. but my mum so blur. wen my bro called out her name, she goo answer. lol? k wtv. met aunt, and cousins all there. had an awhsome evening with them (y) gonna have another outing soon. this were rather kanchiong. as bro got dinner party. went to do my spec and slackat home. the next day, got tuition. wah tight weekend. haix

22nd april was my brother birthday ^^ we went to celebrate it at swensen one hour before his birthday end. hehhe, we arrived swensen at around 11pm. and we had our mini ice cream and supper there with azrul, azri, mum and kak jannah, its alr soo kecoh. and most of the eyes were at our family. ahha, maybe because of my mum loud voice. lolzx. if she were to read this, she would be saying tht her voice aint loud at all. haha, so cute kan. my brother celebrated his birthday before that at spore flyer wif kak jannah. :) ceh. k wtv. went home around one. and dead & gone alr. had to wake up early the next day as we gt suprise plan for brother ^^

and sooo, poly life have started. my life is soo gonna be busy. haix. im still teaching tuitions. now ive got three assingments, alhamdulilah. atleast im not gonna ask my family for my pocket money. gonna mug really hard to support myself. it sonna be hard thou. nehmind, gonna make it through these 3 years. insyaallah.

Labels: alhamdulilah and insyaallah

on the 19-21 april, was my super duper awhsome fun camp! yea, like seriusly its awhsome, i nvr exaggerate, try going to tp. and u can believe me. :) k wtv. went to school wif fatin, rachel and shahirah, and yea, were late fer 15 minit. bt who cares. and we strted out our camp awhsomely. early in the morning, we were like dancing and "shuffling" . >< seriulsy fer like an hr. hahah, and then we headed to bugis for amazing race. :) heheh, i like. and...wat more we did? i frgt. >< ah wtv. skip next day ah. oh i remember tht we started sleeping at 3am! haix haix. never in my life, i heard tht we sleep at 3 in camp. hahah. k wtv,next day woke up at 9. then, we strted dancing and cheering and jumping. lol. and ohh, we got night walk! hahha, this was the most epic fer me, because i literally cried! omg, like seriusly. im never afraid pf ghost. bt i wonder y i cried and shout like maddd. drop my water face only. lol. and the next day was the most awhsome. because there was like some kind of competition between design, business, engine and etc. and we were like cheering and shouting like mad because design wanted to win the best spririted award. and soooo i really did shout like mad :( so fatigue. boo. buttttt, its worthy! because school of design really did win the best spirited award! :) and the last day , we went home like around 9. went to bedok with half of my group-mates, to have our late dinner. sampai rumah trus dead and gone. soooo tired.

Labels: i wanna be a gl. bt my medical cond aint allowing me to. saddening much

eh hi :) wah soo long didnt update. heheh >< okay, where shud i start? hmm, okok, poly life la.aha, on the 18 april was my orientation day :) to be honest, i was sooo scared. beacause of the fact tht i dont knw anyone in tp :( haix. soo the day before, i actually went hunting for design students at fb. hehe, good idea kan. soo i found two of them. and literally went to school wif them >< yay yay. and omg! the GLs at tp are like sooo fcking awhsome. for real. thy were like welcoming us like mad. hahah. and soo i thought tht it would be a plain orientation. bt, tet, i was wrong, totally. we had our awhsome icebreaking and games and cheers till 7. :) and for real, poly students are all not arrogant. once ur like beside them, there will be a conversation, knfrm. and i love my group. soo supporting. ^^ went home at 7 with rachel and shahirah :) went home, pack bag fr camp, and im like dead and gone alr.

Labels: insyaallah will survive these 3 yrs

hi. today is gona be my first teachng experience. i is scared. furthemore i wil be teachng mlay. hais. my malay sucks like serius. i hope its nt obvious later on. may Allah bless me. if i am able to carry out the task perfectly, i would be syukur alhamdulilah. bismillah. :)

as days passd by, i certainly do come to realize who is my real best friends. or shud i say friends. pfft. i have been having problem wif the term-best friends, since i was young. seriusly. i dont in believe in tht, till nowww. ya, aisyah is my best girlfriend fr now. but, things change and i knw abt tht. she is in differnt skul alr. perhaps, she might find a better gf than me. who knw.bt then again, i hv been praying hard tht she and i will stays , till eternity or wat. idk, im tired of expecting high. my previous bf sucks, really sucks. sumtimes, i wonder how did we gt along so well. if she is really my bf, she wouldnt be creating rumors like---i stole her ex and stuff. trust me, it hurts. thou i seems like i dun giv a fck, bt obviously i cared. due to the fact tht we WERE once best friends. pfft. enuf abt her. she is out frm my list. really out. bt wait, im confident she will contact me. butt, afte ra month or so. wen she is having sum kind of problems. she will then remember--eh i gt a fren name mira. maybe i shud giv her a kol. -.- boo her boo me. becus i will eventually bothered to listen to all those dramas, again. :/

Labels: friends come and goes.

hi. wake up at 3pm just now. so late, i knw. bt soo shiok. heheh. wtv. wakeup and rush to mit una to take testimony. bt fuck the persun la. she wont let me take it. i is soo sad. its all due to not paying the 300 plus skul fees. bt, my teachers, principal and mp say i no nid pa. she dun believe.she stupig i think. im under financial durh. how to pay. bhuhh. wasted trip to skul. :/ went to had our late lunch at kfc. annd soo many stry we had exchanged during tht hour. we soo bising.heheh. k buhh. went home around 6 as she had to rush jb , later jam. even i went home straight and spent the remaining time with famili. yay. tomorrow meeting iqah. soo tired want wake up early.

hi :) so long never post. i is soo busy. last wik, i work for sasa again. ya, again. ah dont care la. as long gt pay, can la. aha, work wif atiqah again. ya again. hahah. and a few others. im comfortable working wif them. and 1 wik past soo fast. serius. today was monday, the next day it was like sunday alr? booh. aniways, as usual, i help-ed wif selling off the perfume. and the nina ricchi perfume caught my eye and my nose. seriusly. soo nice lei. and it cost 100 doler lei. haish. soo sedih. buhh. mum came there like thrice i guess. wells, she cant resist makeup bah. and she also sad because want buy perfume :( hahah. wtv. and oh, the pay soo little , i guess. i gt only arund 250? hmm.ok can la, 1 wik 200 plus. soo sedih. tht mny fr poly life. must find tutoring work. soooonnnn. :/

Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I’ve sat in my room and cried, how many times I’ve lost hope, how many times I’ve been let down. Nobody knows how many times I’ve had to hold back the tears, how many times I’ve felt like I’m about to snap but don’t just for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head whenever I’m sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody knows me, and thats what I hate the most. < Tumbler.

Labels: and wat i only wan is someone to be dere fer me.

hi. see tht girl above? yes. she has given up. she dont wanna fall in love. please dont make her fall in love wif anyone. once she fall in love, she tend to have high hopes. thinking tht things will turned out to be great. thinking tht she will have a perfect ending like sleeping beauty or beauty and the beast.and lastly, she cant resist sweet talkers. thou she knws all those swit talking are fake, she still tell herself its real. fck her. no, she have never had a fail relationship. because even before she cud had a relationship wif her crush, thy have cast her aside. ouch.k da. soo emo. so not me. da ah. i wanna slip. tmrw morning shift :/ k bye.

Labels: y so many guy play wif her feeling. not toy lei

Hi. Last wik, i just feel tht Allah have sumhw fulfill my wish. Im very syukur alhamdulilah fr tht. Here is wat happened. I was like rotting at home. While i received a kol frm my mum saying tht my cousin is hospitalized. I is so happy. My eyes were sparkling as if i saw diamonds. Huhu. Thts hw happy i am. Tht mmnt, he was inside the operation room alr. And if im not wrong, the tissues in his knee or wat was gone. He had trouble walking. Yes trust me im like the most happiest girl. Very. No im not mean. Neither am i wishing such things to happen. But this fcking beast just deserved it thou. I swear to Allah im tired seeing him leading his life. He have gt things too easy. No way am i just gonna stand near and watch his life. No way. Last 2 yr, he was caught due to a raping/molest case. I swear tht was one of the mmnt i wited fr. Bt, to my dismay , every single one believed tht he is innocent. Why. Bcos he hav gt tht fcking decent face!idk. Even the police let him off. And tht point of time, i felt like killing myself. I just cnt stand hypocrites. He is a big liar. And im tired being his victim. When he shifted frm my hse, i swear i love myself very much. Bt,tet,those incident kip haunting me. And let me tell ya, it sucks. :( im tired living in a world full of beast like him. I need someone to help me. Bt... Idk. There is just no way i can be helped. I give up. Now i live only fr my fam and my dreams. Thy are the pillar of my strength. Eventhou, thy dun knw wat ive gone thru. :/

Labels: go to jail n admit it. i would be very grateful to ya .

wen i was out wif my girls, like suddenly, ya msg-ed me. i dun knw wats ur motive. but actually, i didnt thought of anything la at tht point of time. because i knw, we are still friends. friends, hmm, i think soo.idk. i dont see any point in ur txting me actually. to fill up ur empty life, i guess. :/ and our msges are like so sikit. like dun even bother txting la nxt time. because well, by txting me, yaknw tht all the memories haunt me back. k nevermind. too used to these kind of situation. boys suck. love sucks. true guys no more alr.

helo halo. march over alr. and soo here come april. i is soo scared of april :/ i go school alone. so loner. must make many2 friends there. because i dont knw aniting abt the course. must smile widely. must dont talk loudly. aha, soo sedih lei. k wtf. come here is an overview of march. hmm. wait eh i recall. early march, it sucks. totally. because i gt scolded and maki-ed by a guy. ceh. soo sedih ah lol. wtf. i had sleeples night due to tht. furthemore, march also his badae. he is soo bad. make me hate guys>< k wtf. hahah. other than tht, march is rather awhsome. i didnt work. i spent my time sleeping and meeting my fren. met iqah. awhsome. were supposed to met illyana. bt she shoo busy >< sedih lorh. gotten my pay early march. in less than a wik. finish alr. tak klaka eh tu. and ohh.i also frgt la wat happen in march. overall, i knw early march sedih. middle till end, i i so very happy.

helo halo. yesterday is the last day of march! :) and sooo i had an awhsome day wif my girls. but, wani no have. soo sedih. k lain kali wani msti ade k pls. :) ah aniways. i wake up early by myself tau. ceh abe bangge. sbb excited nya pasal bah. waking up wif all their msges buat kanchong only. =.= aha. met them at one di tempat biase. while waiting fer una, kita sempat gossip. :) k wtv. kita bawak banyak makanan. heheh. appetizing. weee. and soo we walk our way to swimming pool. sekali sian. swimming pool under renovation. haishaish. sedih. and so took taxi and went to waterfrnt. sumpah thts zu and my first time coming there. mesti uh, bukan org woodland bah. ok can. tempat not bad =.= mcm bukit babtok nature park. k soo not. ah, and we had our so called picnic there. my camera mcm zu punya. >< heheh. headed to cck swimming pool w/o aisyah. had grt fun as always. bt due to the limitation of time, i is soo sedih >< went home around 9. saw aishah at work. she is soo loner, work alone. i cannt work alone. no fren to gossip. hehehx.