helooo. i went to kubur nenek, azmi and atuk yesterday. first, pegi kubur nenek. susah nak carik. sbb kita lupe plot number kubur nenek. tapi, alhamdulilah, kita jumpa jugak kubur nenek. and so....idk why. but i dont feel anything, no misses or watsoever feeling. sedekahkan al-fatihah untuk nenek. and off to kubur atok. and carik kubor punyala susah. sbb kubur atuk tkder papan untuk name. :(( i didnt know abt tht. and rly, mira mcm nak nangis bila nampak kubur atok. kubur arwah yg lain semer nya cntik2. kubur atok tergelam. da tu, kubur atok ade bnyak semut. knape. kesian atok. august 2001 u left us. tapi mira rase macam baru semlm mira bbl2 dengn atok. mira rase mcm atok sentiase ade dengn mira. atok mmg selalu ade dengn mira kan? mira tau atok sayang mira. atok taknk tgk mira merane. atok selalu jage mira kan? mira betol2 syg atok. atok datng la balik. jage mira :( bile mira pat kubur atok, hati mira sebak sgt. semase mira sedekahkn al-fatiha untuk atuk, mira rase mcm atuk pat sebelah mira. mira rase tenang bila ceritakan masalah mira pat atok smlm.semnjak ape yg dia buat pat mira, mira masih jumpe atok. and alhamdilah, mira dapat jugak bbl nn atok semlm. atok doakn la mira kebahagiaan. mesti atok nk tgk mira bahagia. my family thought tht ive frgten atok. and thy told me wateve atok hv done fr me at his kubur. and i cant believe i cry on the spot. ya Allah, da 10 tahun atok pergi tinggalkn mira. knape mira maseh tak boleh lupekan atok? haish. next, we went to kubur azmi. hah lagi la sedih, ya Allah. he left us on 2007. da 4 tahun da. ya Allah. tapi knape mcm baru smlm mira lepak azmi, bbl2 dengn dia, main game dengn dia. dia lah satu2 sedare yg mira rapat. knape dia kene pegi tinggalkan mira? kalau azmi tak pergi, mesti dia tak akan berani buat pape kat mira! :( kalau ami tak pergi, mesti ami boleh protect mira kan? ya Allah, maafkan aku sbb tak boleh lupekan drg. :((( knape org yg mira syg sgt2 yg kene tinggalkan mira? :( if only they come back, alive.....

Labels: semoga mereka ditempatkan dengn org2 yg beriman. amin

heloo. uh. bf have been er, angry? ya i think thts the word. he hav been angry wif me lately. first i have been mentioning abt breakup(which im obviously kidding). he know tht im kidding right. obviously i dun wanna a breakup. god, breakup? yikes. i want a lost lasting r/s kan. ish. and secondly, i always .. k not always. i usually ter-ckp pasal lelaki lain and stuff. k thts jealousy. yes i like it wen he is jealous. but. dia jealous plus bingit. itu yg susah eh. hmm. but aniways, he cant blame me entirely fer this. for godness sake, imma single lady fer yearsss. and this kind of conversation, talikng abt othr guys hav been in my blood for so long :/ ok fine, im in the wrong. :( should stop talking abt othr guys. maybe im supposed to be blame. ok giv me time. hmmm. i hate silent treatment. he like to gimme tht wenever he is angry. and tht sucks kan. but nehmind, i'll get used to it. i'll try my best to adapt from being a single lady to an attached lady. sometimes, i think tht i rly do have strted loving him. but wenever tht feeling came, the guilt came also. knape. mira sumpah tak tau. maybe i think a guy like him doesnt deserve someone like me. yes im good, but not in a certain way wer othr girls is. k shucks. not gonna talk abt this. but trust me aliff, i rly love you. and if u still havent sense it, i have gt nothing to say. its all abt the heart. if u can sense it, then trust me, i wont disappoint u. if u still cant, hmm, just dont keep doubting me. and the third, fourth ..... reason remain unknown. he wont tell me why he is angry sometimes. but nevermind, as long as we not fighting, im happy alr.

Labels: and if im in the wrong, tell me and i'll change :) insya'allah kita akan kekal lame

helloo. met up wif my gf after sucha long time! last we met was a week before poly strts. wah so long eh. miss her bnyak2. had our break-fast at maimunah. while waiting fr our breakfast, we had a lot to talk about. from school, to relationshp thingy. hehehhe, me love her. because of those chatting we had, breakfast time seem so fast:) kita due orang makan macam bnyak org gitu. lol we orderd so much. tapi, habis eh. sbb aku tambah nasik 2 kalik. hehekk perangai budak gemuk. headed to bazzar and had our henna done. kinda happy with the outcome. lepaks with her till 10 only. as she had to be back early, sue to bla3. and i met bf aftr tht. iqah saw him. and msg-ed me aftr tht, saying tht we do look compatable and bla3. tsktsk. befre tht, i was complaining and stry telling to her abt my bf. and oh, she was shock plus happy as im finnaly done with my single life. *no more flirting* hahahhaha, thts wat she said. omg. hahah. aah nehmind. satu tak terjage. nak flirt apenya. ehehe. and and, i swear tht was one of our shortest meeting ever! :/ we usually hang out till late night. :( ni kul 10 da berpisah. nehmind, gonna spent more time wif her during hols. sayangs dia.

have been buka-ing with them these few days. this year puase macam asyik tak buka dekat rumah. macam rase serba-salah la pulak. tapi, since nak jaga hati dia kan, ikut la. eventhou i hav been busyy with assignmnents, i tried my best to meet him to break-fast. basically because of the fact i need to manage my time between him, mum and friends. and...thts kinda hard. ok wtv. had breakfast at pastamania with them on monday. headed to semb fr tht. syukur alhamdulilah. lepaks with them till 10 then. had a mini talk with shilah. and kinda understnd wat hav happen to her all this while and stuffs. but she is a strong girl and she hav a guy who love her. so no wry. <3 met them yest at nov. he fetch me from nov mrt and off to meeting them at fish and co. im really thankful to them, fr being able to eat at such places. its like, w.o any occassion, they will still go to this kind of places. and omg, kenyang makan dekat saner. really eh. just a few bite, da kenyang sudah. hehehk. baguss. and bothe of them were so sweet to the both of us. <3 thy bought chocolate factory choco fr us. and ask the waiter to so called serve it there. and tht waiter , is their fren. added an addittional ice-cream. yumyum. sedap. tapi malangnya, aku da kenyang. tsk

oh yeah, update time. uhuh. lets start from....assignment week. ok ya, assignment. omg i hate the word assignmnet. :/ and so, this week was our assignmnet submission week. im so happy thts its over. like really. i hate this forms module. it shucks. and till now, i still dun knw the purpose of tht module. ah wtv. and finally its over. presentation was not good at all. the whole kelas kene scolded . omgg felt like im in a secondary school sio. tsk. and almost half of us was scolded individually in frnt of the kelas. suck eh. and obviously im one of those. and im like controling myself not to laugh. uhuh. kalau tak nnti kene marah kan. -.- boo. nak fail, fail la. ya Allah, aku benci ni module. kalau aku pass, syukur alhamdulilah. kalau aku fail, aku faham, sbb wells i didnt put in enuf effort i guess.ah wtv. for the next module, everything is fine. and i love the module. and i love the lecturer and ok i love everything. oh, even the assignmnt i love. hehhehe. and oh, i was one hr late fr my prersentation! wow. if i were the lecturer i would fail the student right away. but instead, he soo kind. let us present. wah wah sayang dia la. hehehehhe. ok, wats more abt these module? gonna submit my assignmnt this monday. and i havent even strt. hehehk

Labels: i hope i can pass both

helooo. im becoming more n more lazy to do school stuffs. like really lazy and not Bothered. throw the drawing block in frnt of me, i will still not be bothred. maybe because i hate the module im taking noww. huh. form ex. its all abt dnt. i slept at all lecture. and gt scolded because of tht. wah sian. remind me of my sec life. booo. even wen im at home, i will still sleep upon seeing the drawing block. trololol. y school sooo mundane?!;(( nak quit joms. wah sian. :/

today mark the first mnth we've known each othr :)) and, i dun feel thts its only a mnth. somehow or rathr, i can click with him real well, n i feel tht we've knwn each othr fr like quite some time. k wtv. and soon its gonna be our monthsary. uhuh. time fly so fastt. And aniways, so far i think our relationshp is going well. uh, to be honest, ive been tryng my best to avoid conflict. maybe because im afraid to lose him? or maybe bacause i dun wan him to compare me with his ex? or maybe just because i want a long lasting r/s. idk. and one more thing, he always doubt me. ok not doubt in terms of trust ah. but ya, othr thing. and it sucks. ok not bothrd to elaborate. im not tht heartless aniways. i dun see any use of leaving him wen ya, im really into him. and, to be honest, he hv spent quite a lot on me just fr this one mnth. and did i mntion, he bought fr me a necklace, frm citigem. and actually wore it fr me at geylng. kol me unappreciatve. lol. its not unappreciatve. its idk hw to react n thnk him. and obviously i appreciate evry single thing he hav done fr me.. and ya, i bet tht necklace is expnsve. :( hmm. and one more thing, i can see tht he have gt a high expectation fr this r/s and fr me as well. and tht freak me out. k wtvvv. thts all i can conclude abt him, fr the time being. well, i rly hope this r/s would last long. and i just hope tHt he would tell me if i make a mistake. thts all.amin:)

:) have perm my hair. i like it wen its wet only :((( because my hair too many toxic she say. iduncare. treatment soon :)hek . and oh, went to geylang straight after school. wif bf and daniel. went to find my baju raya. hekhek. he wanted to buy fr me and wore same color as mine. and soo, we strted serching fr the right baju. tapi, drg cepat sgt da penat.:( and thy ask me to quickly find one. sedih sio hidup. i usually took one day to find. ah ni, trus one hr jer. =.= and finally bought a baju kurung. a blck and gold one. which cost.....150? hehehh. ok, i actually still cant believe it tht he spent tht much money on me. i once remembered, tht he told me he not gonna spent on a girl for the first three mnth. but then again...i think he have spent quite alot on me. yes im thankful, of course. but, tknk pulak org ckp matae dengn die sbb duit kn:/ pfft. and soo, headed to have breakfst with his dad. dia ckp jangan bilang bapak dia kita matae. bilang kita kawan. ahr2 kawan. hehehk. k wtf. and ohh, and so, we break our fast there. with all unknown pple. :( i like wanna run away. then kan,then, thy asked fr my ic. nak tknk kene bagi kn. and soo,bingoo. me guess it right. tsk. thy wanna me to be part of tht bussiness. i swear ive no intrest and i swear i was frustrated at both of them. patot ah paksa sgt org dtg. ade udang di sebalik mee rupenya, kan. :/ pfft. ah and soo, his dad goes on and on abt this. and bla3. went home late night again. assigmnt due nxt day. fml. boo.

:)) went for a field trip at singapore museum.. boo.. half of my sturday is spent at museum.-.- wtshit la. but aniways, its quite fun. hekhek. i like sam actually. reach at 130. and waited fr class-mates till 230.thy come soo long, yet stay sooo near. wah sian. headed to the museum, and omggg , we saw this one actor (i frgt name) soo sachok >< but then, he kept running in and out of the place. soo hard to take picture with him:(((( everything ended at 5. supposed to met bf at 4.. but, the thingy end late. and aniways he have to head down to meet his dad. went home wif nadiah , natasha all. and natasha keep talikng abt my r/s. lol. she find it unbelievable. hahahah. one of her line made me laugh'omgg why all girls i know have an ex?! i doesnt have at all. im forever alone:(' ahhahaha, cute ah. ceh. drop down at paya lebar with her. and she told me to watch out fr hensem guy at aniz. lol. ok i did check out. and i dunknw whu is hensem. hahahaha. all typical, how? hek. meet family tehere. and omggggg i look like one of those minah!!! :(((( ceh. saw hamizam. tsk. he never changed. and wat make me happy, he still rmmember me. yay yay. headed to arnorld to have our break-fast. and bought....nothing. headed home , with aunt's friend anta-ing us. yay yay. then...i frgt what happen. hekhek.

hi hi, like again. soo long i never update eh eh? hehehk.hmm, okok recall. ah forgt :( lets strt from aug 16 instead. strted off with school. then off to my tuisyn. today first day at bedok. yay yay. so hepi as its very near to my school. and the budak soo cute. plus....soo kaya. lol. really eh. dia punya bilik, fuh, computer plus printer plus nitendo plus lappy plus iphone plus aircon on with kipas. woop woop. soo lucky. i miss my rich life. phuck. nevermind. im not tht poor too kan. :( k topic lari.and so... ah i remember. he did not text me since morning.uhuh, to be exact since yestrdy 1am. obviously i would gt worried. i txted him at 2pm. however there was no reply. kol-ed him and there was no responce. his friend txted/kol. and somehow or rather his friend have made me think its all a lie, prank. uhuh. and soo, he still did not contact me. at 6 plus, he kol-ed me, like at last eh? and i know knfrm plus chop its a lie alr. phuck them both. lelaki suke nah test perempuan. macam iritzx gitu kan? :< met him at bedok. then, both of them strted with their acting. yay. mcm cool ah tgk drg act wen i knw the truth. bleah. went school next dayy, and as usual, thy all expect stry from me. lol-.- and we all guess thts its a prank as well. on tht day itself, i asked him. and, hehehhe, bingo>< well, to be honest, im not angry. thts an act of insecure uhuh. ok, my post seems so short, because.....i frgt whut happen la :( and oh, i passed my ComDi. yya. ok wtv

heloo. went for school field trip earlier on. met them all at engineer school and off we go to far east square. boo. dun even knw wats soo special over there. lol. wake up early in the morning to go dere?! sian lor. ended everything at 11. and off to meet him. waited fr him till 1230. in the meantime, did a lil shopping.bought two mask and hair theraphy thingy. headed to clarke quay wen he arrived. and sooo...i alr knw why he wanted to meet me. i hate it wen he talk abt it. but then again,of course he wud tok abt it, sooner or later. he is my bf,of course he would mind ant this. tapi, ive told him even befre we were togedr. so he cnt blame me :((( and guess wat, he knw whu is the culprit/jerk/animal/beast i was talking abt. he stayed late night just to research on tht. i think, thts wat he said and i believe. idk if thts a good thing or othrwise. mmg mira nak org tlg mira, gain my confidence back in guys, have a better future and stuff. but then again, im scared. mungkin betol ape yg dia kate. Allah tlah beri dia petunjuk. tappi...mira takot. mira takot kalau dia betol2 akan amek tindakan. once tht happen, i can frgt abt being happy again. once tht happens, mak dengn drg semer akan gaduh besar. dia akan masuk jail. hidup mira akan kecoh. and..i really dun wann tht. just recently, family kita rapat. tkder gadoh. ni kalau gaduh lagi, mira akan hilang azrul, abg, my aunt and uncle. im only left with mum. and i dont wannt tht. mira nak hidup mira yg sekrg. To be honest, i dont care abt wat he did to me alr. maybe because it have happened to me alot of times? idk. wen i meet him nowadays, mmg perasaan benci tu ader. but perasaan nak balas dendam, revenge is gone. i think i shud just give up on the revenge part. biar dia buat ape yg dia nak. i beleive tht he will face the consequences , soon. bukan di dunia tapi di akhirat. i dont have the intention of telling my family. im scared like rly scared. :((

heloo. :)thts me and my bf. yay yay. ceh. k wtf. 9 aug, met him after both of us is done with work and stuffs. met him at 5 at bishan. headed to lau pa sat to have our break-fast. we were there, like quite early. at 550? idk. had our mini talk while waiting fr the clock to stuck 7. :( like long like tht. ay 615, satay da pat depan mate. wah sian. kene tahna nafsu makan. heh. he ordered roti john fr our side dish. and we had our main dish individually. and...i saw fuchun students there, like alot. boo. tak suke. tempat matreps and minahs. had our fill and were full even before we eat the roti john. hahahah, lain kali, jangan order mkanan bnyk2. macam paham aje lebih. khe. went to witness the firework around 805. sedih, wen we come there, firework da setengah jalan. ceh. but still, considerd myself lucky ler. sbb nampak jugak kan. and omgg the fireworks so naise! :)) sungguh. ader banyak love2 and lawar la. heheh. saddening much as the firework like sikit gitu. around 830, da abes. :( since its wayyy too early fr us, we went to esplande to lepak.. it took us 30 minit to go to esplanade. banyak sgt orang, rimas. yang penting, matreps bnyak sgt. eeee. finally arrived esplanade at 9 plus. he drank but didnt gt drunk on tht day. fuh nasib. kalau dia drunk, wah sian, idk how to go home. lol. and sooo....we stayed there till midnight. sooo many matreps. they are like everywer. eeee bingit plus rimas je aku tgk drg. imagine eh kalau aku srg. hahahha. k wtv. and soo...he talk and talk and talk, like alot as always. decided to head home at 1230. soo ya. went to mcd fr awhile. and had drink and fries fr supper. and.....:( went to mrt station at one. but, saddening much, train no more. i swear we both panic alr at tht mmnt. he doesnt have any mny as he have spent it earlier on. aku pulak. cukup2 mkn. sungguh kta da panic. hahahah,im not bothrd to elaborate ah. hahha. yang pasti, abg aku nak amek aku. aku da takot. lol. ni budak mintak kene ketuk. pagi habiskan duit semue, sape suroh. kan susah da. hhaahaha. nasib aku twist stry. kalau tak, dia stay la sane srg2. hehhek. and omgggg, taxi fare was like 40 plus. macam nak nangis siol. :((( now, no more money. tsk tsk. tapi takperla, duit boleh dicarik. yang penting, aku dpt tgk firework. lol. and oh, i guess, certain pple have knw abt our relationshp. and their response were kinda positive.and im glad abt tht. i think even his ex knw abt it? uhuh. idk. yang penting, aku syang dia. and insya'allah dia syang aku :)

heloo. imma happy girl. yay yay. ok time fr stry telling noww. heheh. actually im lazy to elaborate. tapi yang pasti, i wanna say goodbye to my single life. single since sec two. yet im finally taken now. im still shock at myself thou. i knw tht im someone who dont accept tht someone in my life easily. i knw tht i have gt a high expectatio. wrn it comes into this. thus,dont ask me, y i accepted him tht fast. ive gt no answer fr tht,yet. maybe because he is a sweet talker? maybe because i can see tht he is really sincere abt his feeling? Idk.bt wat i know is tht, yes i rly love him. and i hope he wouldnt leave me. i hope and wish and pray much. now tht im attached, i have gt to change certain things in life. but wait, he can only change me in certain things. i just hope he is not like those typical guy who would control all my movement and stuff. if he is fair to me, i would treat him the same. im confident of myself tht i can make this relationshp last. i knw tht im a rather reasonable girl who dont rly have any moodswings. but then again, pple change. i dun wanna giv him high hope. but i just wish things would be like how it is now. actually, i still cant accept the fact tht im attach. wah sian. no more flirting.. ceh wtf. k wtv. wat i knw is we can last long. he have acceptd me in every way and so have i. oh oh, and he never scold me abt my past , abt tht jerk. and glad abt tht. heheh. sayang dia. but then again, even aftr he knw abt it, i still feel guilty. idk why. my hart wont be at ease until tht jerk is out of my life. i guess. k fck him. boo. watvr to him. yang penting skg, i have my bf with me. bf? o.O haha weird. k. insya'allah kita akan kekal lame. heheh.

Labels: im thankful fr all the wonderful mmnt i had wif him. insyaallah, untuk selame2nya

and here comes bulan Ramadhan. yes im looking frward fr this mnth since a long time. in this holy month, i just hopes everthing will turns out fine. i hope there wouldnt be any unexpected incident to happen. i love my family & family. Insyaallah, dlm bulan ramadhan ni, tkder pape akan jadi. yay. and...i miss my grandpa. myra sayang atuk. including this yr, i think its almost 9 yrs since ur gone. but still, i love u till now. orang semue ckp, kalau bulan ramadhan, roh2 mesti datng tgk ahli keluarge. mesti satu hari nnti atuk jumpa mira kan? tak kesah la kalau mira tak nampak atuk. yang pasti, atuk nampak myra kan? :( sayang atuk. kalau atuk boleh menjelma depan myra, kan bagus. i want u to knw hw much ive suffered wó u by my side. if u are still with me, till now, i guess i would be a happy girl. and he wouldnt even dare to do anything to me. :(( tapi benda da berlaku kan. sayang atuk. and insyallah, i can fast full fr this yr:)

helo. back to school life, which is assignmnets and drawings non stop. boo. new module again, which is form exploration and design hist. hmm. i find both sub quite managable. bleah i hope soo. forx ex is more on model making. while deisgn hist is more on the history of design in othr cntry. ok fine. at least, there isnt any up to scale drawing needed. didnt went to school fr two days alr, due to overslept>< hekhek.

its nearly a week since i last update. okok. gonna recap. so....last thurs,fri,saturday was mediacorp day. met aisyah and zu at wdlands on friday. sayang aisyah. she was sick, yet she still bother to meet us and and gave us our badae present. :) yay. unlike some pple. keep giving excuse, whcih suck much. had our gf talk till 4. and off aisyah go. and omgg, she is soo sweet. we both love her present. we can see the effort which she put in. really im touched with her presents. sayang dia. yay yay. okok, then off to being a forever alone girl. ceh. zu went home to change clothes. while i waited fr her. at tht time, his ex txted me. and....his ex shared to me abt their break ups and stuff. and...me being a two faced bitch just replied like nothing happen. bleah. met up with asraf and zu. and told them abt it. hahaha,and of course,zu said imma two faced.pfft. ok off to mediarcop and met the others. and omgggg!!! we finally took a shot with qi yuwu. wahhh. we sooo happy at tht mmnt. we jump up and down like mad women sio. hekhek. he soooo handsome. wah. wen he hug us...wah fant. hahahahah. so shuai ge.:)))) hek hek. off to meet him. showed him qiyuwu pic, and he say not handsome. mcm nak ketuk je kepale. punya la handsome. haish. headed to bb, and he gave me drinks and stuff from coffee bean. :) accompanied him till 1220. and off we went home. went home, kene membebel sbb balik lambt. hahaha, but of course, my brothr and azrul will side me. :)ok saturday pulakk. hmm. oh, went to tuisyn . and gt myself 30 doler. met zu at yishun. she was crying at tht mmnt. pity her. i understand how she feel. but, she is a strong girl. so no wry. sayang dia. heheh. off to toa payoh. and waited fr them....again.bleah. had our dinner at mcd again. met him after that. while waiting fr the bus, as usual, matreps all around. grr. benci matreps. pantang nampak perempuan srg2. boo. met him at tp, he waitd fr me fr a long time i guess. and bounced back to bb. ok la, my feelings towards him have grown. like really have la. if not, i wouldnt be meeting him every single day whut. lepaks at bb area , and he strt with his sweetalk. heheh. accompanied him 1220 again and off he go:))) then....sunday. had my two tuisyn on tht day. and earn myself 100 on tht day too. hmm. then i frgt wat i do. hek. yang pasti, i didnt met him :)